When I was a kid, I didn't like gravel playgrounds.

Gravel was too hard to swallow.

So I'm pretty sore at myself for not writing yesterday. And it's not like I forgot or had things to do, either; I just kept putting it off until I was too tired to lift my head. It would be nice to have a laptop. Then I could post while drifting off to sleep, bathed in the warm glow of a cathode ray tube or whatever makes computers light up these days. But to get back to the point at hand, I'ma fill you in on what happened yesterday (ha, happened. That's rich).

Early in the morning (meaning about 9am) I visited my good friend, the dentist. I used to love going to the dentist because they had a little room where you could play Sonic the Hedgehog while you waited. Later on they upgraded to Nintendo 64, then Gamecube and Xbox (the little room had no surveillance so games and controllers went "missing" pretty quick). Now, they've got an Xbox 360 and the magic is gone. I miss that old Sega Genesis and fighting over who got to be Tails. I miss picking out prizes after getting my mouth scoured for cavities. My childhood is gone and ain't nothin gon' bring 'er back. But anyway. Once I got home I turned on the television, as per usual, and lo and behold, the show was about dentists! I watched the Simpsons immediately after; again, dentists. Something cosmic is at work here, folks. Could it be coincidence that both Seinfeld and the Simpsons, two entirely different shows on entirely different channels, referred to dentists on the day I visited the dentist? The answer is no, of course not. That would be silly. I have no option but to conclude, then, that the mundane, ordinary happenings in my mundane, ordinary life have some effect on what the world watches. I don't yet know what the implications of this are, but I have a hunch that they are no good.

Where was I? Oh yes, crushed childhood memories. My dad bougt a bag of Mojos, just for a thrill. I hadn't had mojos since I was at least 7 years old, and to tell you the truth, I was ecstatic. But as soon as I lay my eyes on them, I knew something was amiss. They were bigger than usual, thicker. The wrapping paper didn't stick to their candy folds, and they were...supple. Chewable. I took out my old favourite--cola--and stuck it in my mouth. Something was definitely amiss. It tasted like all other failed "cola"-flavoured candies. A sour twinge to imitate carbonation and an aftertaste of lead and nightmares. These were not the stale mojo candies of my childhood. These were cheap mass-produced imposters. My heart sank, and I hunched off to brush my teeth.


(not really)