That's what my mom said. After smacking Jordan for calling her a hog farm.
So, exciting news. Barb's ex-husband has potentially hired me on to do some commission work. 60 to 80 cartoons by the end of February. Problem is, I'm supposed to send him in some samples today so he can see if my "style" is anything close to what he wants. I have not yet started said samples.
I think I might be afraid of success, or at least doing something with what I've got. I knew about this potential commission for at least a week before I phoned him, and now I'm stalling again. I wonder if I really want to get myself into this, but I can't really see a clear downside. I'll be drawing again, which I love, I'll be getting my work out there, I'll be challenging myself, and if the samples are accepted, I'll get paid. I won't have to be working for him/them for long, only till the end of next month. There is nothing to be afraid of, but I'm still hesitant, still stalling, and it might already be too late.
When I was 9, I could have been in a real stage play with real teenagers and twentysomethings, put on by One Yellow Rabbit or some such company. But I hesitated, and I faltered, and eventually turned down the offer.I really wanted to be on stage, I wanted to act, but I had a fear of being seen. I was afraid of being out there and being noticed. I thought it was too soon. I'm too young for this. Maybe in a few more years. A few years later and here I am, still afraid of being out in the open, still telling myself I'm too young. Every time I get closer to being a real "artist," I hesitate and take a few steps back. This anonymity is where I'm comfortable; it's where I've settled all my life.
This blog is getting pretty depressive. I'm sorry about that.
I went over to Liam's the other day, which was good. Though I mostly hung out with his little brother, which in retrospect seems pretty rude/wierd. And I finally got to see The Great Dictator, which was pretty awesome. I found out later that Charlie Chaplin was 51 when he did that movie. Fifty-one! That kind of surprised me. He was still just as quick and sprightly as ever. We also watched some Arrested Development, which made me further fall in love with that show. How could something so stunningly hilarious be cancelled so swiftly? Though I guess it's better for something to be nipped in the bud and be fondly remembered than to drag on and on, getting worse and worse until the letters come streaming in pleading for cancellation.
That's it, gotta catch a bus.
s'long, fellas and fillies.
(thanks wulf)
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5 comments:
huh? you're welcome....
i heart cartoons. you should definetly make them. and i know what you mean about the hesitant stalling bit. it is my speciality. but i've found that if you do hesitate, it's worse than actually doing and getting bad result. in the immortal words of Gretzky: You miss 100% of the shots you never take.
RIIIIIIIITAAAAAAAAA! You are an amazing artist, and you seriously should go for it! This commision may lead to another, which may lead to another, which may lead to a career, which would be pretty awesome! I HAVE FAITH IN YOU! Oh, and how is ACAD going? Are you feeling a little more at home now?
Oui Nomad you aught to just ignore those evil procrastinating wants because then at least you get the chance to try it out. That's my theory at the moment, try things out because then you will know if you like it or not because if you never try, then you will never know. So yes, happy drawing.
Hermy
P.S. What brought up the hog farm conversation because I can't really imagine your brother saying that.
That's so exciting!!! I believe in you!!! *sends good luck vibes or somehting of the sort...erm.. desision-making vibes?*
I knows what you mean about the 'Im too young' second-guessing yourself. I've had that problem too, where I've felt all good about something then taken a step back and looked at myself from outside myself and been all 'well, maybe I shouldn't because it would look weird to others' or something like that. I tells ya, it does NO ONE ANY GOOD! I found that at general council, I noticed myself thinking things like 'oh, I shouldn't say anything on the subject, I look too young to have this kind of knowledge'. But instead of listening to that voice I ignored it, and I got a zillion times more out of my experience than I would have otherwise. So anyways, stop questioning and DO IT!
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