I'm feeling strangely euphoric right now. It's almost as if those days and weeks of no sleep and fighting with myself to just FINISH the Worst Project Ever never happened. I just want to put this whole term behind me and start again when I'm ready. I need to have some experience of doing what I like again, instead of just trudging through all the tedious stuff I have to do to finish first year. I'm pretty sure I failed at least one of my classes, but right now, that doesn't bother me very much. If I have to take it again, I'll take it again. If ACAD isn't the right place for me, I'll try someplace else. Everything seems really simple and optimistic right now. I don't want that to stop.
I'm already making my resolutions for next term: I will talk to someone on my first day of classes. I will not let myself fall into the role of crazy person who sits at the back and doesn't say a word, the one who obviously hasn't slept in days, wears the same clothes every week and always smells distinctly like hair oil and sweat. I will not undermine the value of doing an imperfect job. I am here to learn; nothing I do will be perfect. I will attend at least one event that I want to attend. I will save handouts and record my ideas. I will go to the library. I will not avoid people simply bacause I'm afraid they don't like me; if they talk to me, they're probably okay with being around me. That's all I have for now, but, you know, it's a start.
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3 comments:
Rita, let's hang out as soon as you're available.
That is a super new attitude to have. It was my attitude coming into this year after failing alot last year, and it pretty much worked.
that is SUCH a good outlook. I think I will try and join you in this quest!
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